Susan Boyle

[Peter Coffin]

I have not said anything on Susan Boyle, because I have been irritated with constant bombardment of her. Truth be told, she is not the best singer I have ever heard and she is made out to be. But now that she has lost, I actually think she might have a chance of bringing some big changes to an industry that has been in dire need of them.

First, anything they write for her to perform is going to have to be good. She can not sell records based on bump/grind music videos. I'm positive almost no one gets a boner when they see her on TV. The ones that do aren't numerous enough to make a record a hit on their own, either. And I don't know if you can buy records in the insane asylum.

She literally doesn't have any other selling points. She doesn't take criticism well, she really isn't particularly family-friendly (sailor mouth but not in a youthful, attractive way), and she can't really be marketed as a novelty as that would really just make her fans angry.

As much as I don't like to say it, the woman is essentially an international treasure now. They literally have to treat her right and do a respectable job turning that doofus into a professional entertainer.

But here's the thing: I think it's going to be more profitable for them than ever before. I think the effort they put fourth on Oldy McHairface is going to pay off so hardcore that they won't know what to do. They are going to see something that I think they have long lost sight of: caring about the longevity of an entertainer is how you make a shitload of money.

They have been about impact for a really long time now. They sign short-term deals that essentially fuck the artists and guarantee themselves huge, instantaneous returns. That is flat-out not going to work with ol' Sillyface. Her fans are not going to tolerate it. They are insane. My mother will defend this woman no matter what you say about her, as will anyone I have talked to that likes her. It's not like when Dido made it.

I could be diluting myself, but I think they are going to see that caring about the career of their investment can make them way more long-term, and that is more important. We'll see.

[Julia Porter]

I have a feeling they're gonna go the wrong way with it. It'll be a flash in the pan thing and Boyle will probably get the shaft like recording artists often do - especially those who have no idea what the hell the industry is about, and I think it's safe to say that she doesn't. Still, though, there isn't any denying that she does have talent - I've studied music my whole life, and that kinda singing isn't something that just happens. There's a lot of work and practice to it. And, like you, I was really getting annoyed that even as kind of a hermit I couldn't get away from hearing about her. Plus it annoys me that we're such a retarded society. I mean, if she'd have been real hot and young and unhairy, people probably wouldn't have given a damn. That just seems weird to me. I like her singing voice, and we are still discussing the musical arts, right? Not to sound old and cliche, but music these days has too little to do with art - it's like a damned bikini contest or something, I mean, bikini contests have their place, but...is it art? and all this just sort of is a reflection on what we've become, so yeah, I can see where people are coming from. I mean, I doubt when the mamas and the papas came out, the whole world went "Mama Cass is FAT and ugly! They're a SENSATION!" They were just good. Does that make sense? I'm a babbler. Sorry.

[Peter Coffin]

Oh, no problems with babbling.

The thing I think is that they are going to get held accountable by Oldy McHairface's fans.

[Julia Porter]

yeah, you're probably right, but don't worry, it'll probably die out pretty quickly. Then we'll just hear about it again someday on that Behind The Music show, and that'll be that.